Friday, August 16, 2013

Feeling Like a Mom

As much as a I hate to admit this, there are times when I don’t feel like a Mom.  I think part of it is being a working Mom with an at home Dad for a husband.  Since E and Mike are together pretty much 24/7, it’s only natural that E would gravitate to him more.  It's not that I doubt E's love for me.  He greets me at the door when I come home from work, usually with a book or toy to show me and always with a smile.  But it’s clear that Mike is the primary care giver.  He knows E’s likes and dislikes better than I do and knows E's daily routine inside and out.  

When we’re all together, I find myself asking Mike questions.  Like what E should eat or when he needs his nap.  It’s those moments when I don’t always feel like a Mom.  He’s my child too, I should know these things.  But the reality is, I work outside the home and Mike is an at home Dad.  Sure, I wish it were me that got to stay at home and be a full-time Mom.  But for now I’m just grateful that we even have the option to have one of us be an at home parent.

I've learned that if I do things with E on my own, I feel a stronger bond with him and have that "Mom" feeling.  I realized this a couple of weeks ago.  A friend asked if E and I wanted to meet her and her niece at an indoor play area. We went and had a blast.  I actually felt like a Mom.  I can’t explain it, but it was a feeling that just hit me.  It had been a while since E and I had done anything just the two of us and it’s just want I needed to reaffirm my feelings as a Mom. 

I love doing things as a family but it’s important that I have my own time with E.  Mike has plenty of 1-on-1 time with him and I want E to experience that with me as well.  It also gives Mike a break from being in Dad mode 24/7.  There will be many more Mommy and E dates in our future.  Well, at least until he hits the teenage years, then I'll give him a break.  

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