Back to Work

Well the time has come, I'm back at work tomorrow. I'm trying to be realistic. Of course I have to go back to work. I knew my maternity leave would come to an end. I knew I couldn't stay home forever, my family relies on me for an income. I feel so blessed that I was able to take three months off after Cora was born. And even more grateful that because Mike is a SAHD, the four of us had three amazing months to bond and be together as a family without the demands of a job. Not many families get that experience and I am truly thankful. But it's still sad to think that's it's come to an end so quickly. The past few days have been hard and some days there were tears. But I have to go back to work.

I'm trying to be strong for Mike too, I know he's nervous to be home alone with two kids and how he will juggle the needs of both E and Cora. Cora's not sleeping through the night yet either, I was hoping she would be by the time I went back. Three nights a week he'll be up with her by himself. I'm sad I won't be there to support him. To take turns like we do now. To help with the changing or rocking her back to sleep if she needs it. Some may say, "It's only three nights." But to me it's three nights. Three whole nights not being with my babies, not being able to comfort them if they need me in the middle of the night. I know Mike can handle it. He's got this parenting thing down, I just want to be there too. But I have to go back to work.

I'm nervous how E will react when I'm all of a sudden gone for a while and he only sees me for an hour here and there. He and I have really bonded during these three months. He no longer pushes me away and only wants Daddy. I'm hoping that was just a phase but I'm fearful it will start up again with me being back at work. The thought of him not wanting me to tuck him in or cry when I reach for him breaks my heart. But I have to go back to work.

I'm sure once I get through the first work week, things will seem brighter. I'll get my sleep schedule adjusted again and the four of us will find our new "normal." We'll still have four days to be together as a family and be out and about doing all the things we loved doing while I was on maternity leave. I may just be a little bit more tired (hello caffeine!) The house will probably be a little bit dirtier and the laundry piles a bit deeper. Yes, things will be brighter in a few weeks, but not today. Today, I'm sad and will probably shed more tears because tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I have to go back to work.

Time goes so fast. 

The Friday Five

Here's what I'm loving this week:

1. Baby Dresses
I just love putting Cora in a little dress. She looks so precious and my heart melts. Let's be honest, I think she's adorable in anything, but there's something about a little dress. Especially ones that my mom makes. Cora got this new dress in the mail this week including a matching hair bow. I just love it. Thanks Mom! And seriously, open an Etsy shop!

Cora's new dress. 

Another dress from Grandma Sharon. 

2. Evan's Car
Well our motor head of a son is now obsessed with driving our car.  No, excuse me, "Evan's car," as he lets us know. E likes to spend his day sitting in the car pretending to drive. When you turn the car on, you never know what blinker will turn on or how loud the radio will be.

3. Minnesota History Center
Who knew the wonder of the Minnesota History Center? Sadly, I didn't know this place existed until I read about it in another blog. There's lots of interactive exhibits for kids; a grain bin to climb through, a coal mine to explore, a tepee to visit, and a railroad car to sit in. There's also a lot of interesting information about the great state of Minnesota. The best part about our visit was that it was FREE! Every Tuesday evening from 5-7, the History Center is open to the public for free. What a great deal to take advantage of.

Checking out the tepee. 

Driving the bus.

Climbing the grain bin.

4. Picnic at the Wading Pool
I've mentioned Minnehaha Falls before and it's become one of my favorite places to go. It's gorgeous, has a nice playground with a second one almost complete, and an awesome wading pool. E seems to enjoy a wading pool now more than a splash pad. He likes to be in water, not just have fountains so this place works out well since the water only gets 2ft deep. We picked a perfect weather day this week to pack a picnic lunch and just camp out at the pool for several hours.

5. Housewives
Ok, I can't help it, I love The Real Housewives of New York. I am particularly enjoying this season, there's so much drama and adventure. I especially loved this week's episode. My favorite scene was Sonja getting her patio all zen to deliver Aviva the news that, "All the women were talking about you in Montana." Then Aviva, bless her heart, thought they were talking about her because they were concerned about her health until Sonja so bluntly said, "No, not at all. They think your nebulizer is an acessecory."

I'm still cracking up over that scene as I write this. If you're not watching RHNY, you probably won't see the humor in this so you better start watching now.

Just the Three of Us

Well it took me two and a half months to do it, but I did it. I took both kids to run errands by myself. It's not that I've been avoiding doing this, I just haven't had to do it. With both Mike and I at home, it's convenient to run errands by myself or just take one kid which makes running errands so much easier. But with me going back to work soon, I thought I better get used to being out and about with two kids so I can give Mike a break on my off days. I suggested to Mike he do the same because he hasn't been out solo with both kids yet either. E and Cora are pretty easy going, but a toddler AND a baby adds a different dynamic to outings no matter how good the kids are.

Now I understand this is not some great parenting feat, moms and dads go out with two kids or more all the time by themselves. However, I have to admit I had some level of anxiety as E, Cora and I headed out to Target and Trader Joe's. You just never know what can happen.

Overall, the outing was a success. Target was a breeze except for Cora's poopy diaper. While browsing the baby aisles, I got a whiff. Yep, it was time to go. I did a quick once over her diaper area and it seemed everything was contained. We could make it through the checkout line and then change the diaper. Things were under control, until I got to the bathroom to change Cora. I neglected to restock the diaper bag after being on the road so much over the past three weeks. I only had two wipes. Two wipes to clean up a mess. I made it work and thankfully the paper towel dispenser was right next to the changing table. All was well again. Next stop, Trader Joe's.

Trader Joe's on the weekdays is usually a great place to shop with kids. Not a lot of people and a smaller environment to contain a toddler. However, I just happened to pick the day when their delivery truck was late. So there were employees all over stocking the shelves. It made the store much more congested which meant keeping closer tabs on E. I had also opted to wear Cora in the baby carrier and let E walk because the carts at TJ's are smaller and I needed the space for my groceries. Normally it would have worked out perfectly, but again,  all the congestion made it more chaotic. Trying to grab my sugar snap peas over an employee wearing a baby is not ideal. I also forgot my list so I found myself wandering the aisles trying to remember what I all needed causing the trip to drag on. E was getting restless so it was time to go.

By the time I made it to the checkout, I was sweating and felt pretty beat. As I was walking out of the store I also felt a little more confident. It was like going through a right of passage on my parenting journey. I successfully took both my kids out in public and we all three survived.

The Friday Five (On Saturday)

With all the festivities during the 4th, my Friday Five is a day late. Here's what I'm loving this week;

1. My Birthday
My birthday was June 30th and I turned 33. I celebrated by doing a little shopping by myself, which is always a treat, and getting a pedicure. Mike and I went to the Twins game that night with our friend O'Malley and his girlfriend. They had tickets to the Legends Club which is an exclusive area in the stadium, basically a restaurant overlooking the stadium. I wish I had taken some pictures in there but I was to enamored with all the food and drink options. There was your standard ballpark fare but also a selection of fancier food served cafeteria style. It was a really fun expetience. Too bad the Twins couldn't pull off a win

2. Baby Showers
This past weekend,  I got to help two very dear friends celebrate the upcoming arrival of their babies. They are both due in August and I couldn't be happier for them.

We did a couples shower BBQ, or BaByQ, for Carrie to celebrate Baby Boy D-L. Despite the heat and humidity, it was fun seeing not only my bestest of friends, but the families we now have. It's great that we all like each other's spouses and get along as one big group. Throw the kids in there and we have ourselves a party!

The next day, just us girls got together at Django for brunch and celebrated Heather and Baby Girl Watson. We had a private room and the group was intimate. It was so relaxing sipping on mimosas and having lots of girl talk.

I hope both my friends enjoyed their showers and I'm so excited for them to become Mommas!

3. "Need the Boppy."
The picture does not do this situation justice, but this moment was probably one of the cutest ever.  E often wants a to feed his doll a bottle, so that was no big deal. But the cute part was, E came into the  kitchen, pulled on my shirt and said, "Evan need the boppy." We found the boppy and he got himself situated and continued feeding his doll. Then he said he needed some coffee. So I gave him a coffee cup.  Now I wonder where he saw this scenario before??? Seriously, my heart was melting at the cuteness.  Ok, enough Mommy gushing.

4. Honey and Rye
Being the coffee lover that I am, I'm always looking for a good coffee shop.  I've been wanting to try Honey and Rye for a while now after I saw it featured on the local news and I must have driven past it 100 times. I finally made it there this week. It was one of those mornings where a certain two year old woke up on the wrong side of the bed and we needed to get out of the house.

I fell in love with this place when I walked in. It's adorable! The food and coffee were good too. It's just a few blocks from one of our favorite parks so I can't wait to stop in again.

E's oatmeal raisin cookie and my spinach and feta scone.

5. The 4th of July
We always spend the 4th out at Mike's mom and dad's  The neighboring town has a big celebration. We enjoy going to the parade and watching fireworks over the lake. This was E's first year seeing fireworks and he liked them. Every time he'd see one he'd say, "There's a firework." Cora stayed with G&G, maybe next year. Hope you all had a fun and happy 4th of July!

The Question

"Are you breastfeeding?" I've come to hate that question. It's so personal, so intrusive I feel. Which is weird for me to say because I tend to over share with everything else in my life. My life is pretty much an open book. But not with that question, it's an issue so sensitive to me and it comes with a lot of baggage.

I particularly hate that question now with Cora because it's confusing. With E, the answer was easy, "No." You can read more about that HERE. But it didn't come out that easy. The "No" was said with shame and guilt. I can still remember answering that question when E was first born. Sometimes I would launch into the explanation of why. Mostly though I would just avoid eye contact while responding, then I'd quickly change the subject. See, lots of baggage.

With Cora, I don't know how to answer. I don't know what to call the way I feed her. I'm not breastfeeding her but she's not on formula either like E was. I pump and feed Cora breast milk in a bottle. Then I pump and pump some more. I've become very acquainted with my breast pump. Thankfully, my milk supply (so far) is plentiful this time and I'm able to provide Cora with just enough milk and don't need to supplement with formula. It seems my body is just not physically made for nursing a baby. Even with all the nipple shields, latch assists, and laction consultant visits, it just does not seem to work. This system is a good compromise for now. I'm feeding Cora my milk which I so desperately wanted to do for E, but I'm still missing out on the nursing experience which is something that will always pain me.

So that's where the confusion comes in when answering, "Are you breastfeeding?" I guess my answer is that I'm just feeding my baby in a way that works for us. I wish I could answer that question with more convction and confidence. Maybe someday when I'm done mourning over my breastfeeding experience, or lack there of, I'll be able to let go of the guilt and all the baggage the comes with the question,  "Are you breastfeeding?"

The Friday Five

Here's what I'm loving this week:

1. 10 Days in Iowa
Last Thursday, we packed up the car and kids and headed to Iowa for 10 days. We spent most of our time at my mom and dad's and will end the trip in Des Moines.

We've had a great time relaxing at the farm and spending time with family. We hit up the local pool and park and Mike talked me into Chuck E Cheese which I must admit, was pretty fun for E. I've also enjoyed eating at some of my favorite local restaurants; The OP, Sub City, and The Brown Bottle.

Our car packed up for the trip. 

Driving tractor.

Driving a bigger tractor.

Pool time.

Mornings on the porch. 

Beautiful sunset on the farm

Chuck E Cheese

Swinging

2. A Wedding
My dear friend Kate got married this past Saturday.  She was a beautiful bride and the wedding was gorgeous.  I was so happy I could celebrate with her and see some of my favorite ladies. Congrats to Kate and her hubby Ryan!

The beautiful bride. 

The Simpson girls. They are all simply the best!

My handsome date.

3. Grandmas
I love seeing my mom with E and Cora. It's fun to see her in the Grandma role. Grandmas are so special and I'm fortunate my kids have two grandmas that love them so much just like I did growing up.

Unfortunately, my almost 97 year old grandma went in the hospital this week. Fortunately, I was in Iowa so I could spend time visiting her. I went almost everyday with my mom and Cora to see her. Mike and E came a few days too. At my grandma's age, the body just gets worn out but Grandma keeps bouncing back. She actually gets to go home today!

I'm glad I got to spend time this week visiting with her. I have so many fond memories from my childhood of Grandma. She was the one that let me play on my swing set instead of working in the garden.

I'm also happy she got to meet Cora and see more of E. Although E is only two, I hope he will have some memory of her because she is one special lady.

4. ReDuce Water Bottles
My mom got these reusable water bottles from Amazon and I just love them. I may have to steal one for the trip back to Minnesota. We'd fill them up each night and they'd be ready to grab as we headed out for the day. I usually have a Nalgene with me but it's so big.  These fit perfectly in the diaper bag and the car cup holders, plus they are super cute. I drink a lot of water so I do find myself refilling it quite frequently but I still find them very convenient.

5. "How to Win at Parenting"
I came across this blog post and it made me laugh because I totally get what the author is talking about. It's sad but true. I've mentally added up my parenting wins against my saintly husband and of course I think I win but in the big picture, I couldn't really win without Mike's help. We truly are a team when it comes to parenting. When I showed Mike this article, he just rolled his eyes. He's use to my little quirks.

The Friday Five

Here's what I'm loving this week.

1. Story Time
The St. Louis Park library had a special story time this week. The theme was trucks so of course we had to go. After several truck themed stories and songs, the real fun began. In the parking lot was a snow plow, fire truck and police car. E waited in line for each vehicle to take his turn sitting in the driver's seat.

It's amazing at how much kids go crazy for these vehicles.  I don't remember being so enamored with dump trucks and fire trucks when I was a kid but they were all in heaven.

2. Minnehaha Falls
We spent a morning at Minnehaha Falls. I had never actually seen the falls before and they were gorgeous. We stopped at the park to play then we came across a wading pool. We read about the wading pool but didn't know what to expect.  It was great, zero depth entry and went about two feet deep and there was a huge fountain in the middle. Thank goodness we packed E's swim trunks and we always travel with a shovel and bucket, you never know what you'll find.  E  was a little fish, barely coming out to have a quick snack.  I eventually had to drag him out. His lips were turning blue.

The falls.

We found the wading pool!

Cora at the pool.

3. Mike cooked dinner
Yes he did! Cucumber tomato salad with cilantro, grilled peppers and mushrooms and steak. It was delicious. And he did the clean up as well.

4. Father's Day
Mike requested waffles for his Father's Day breakfast and then we went to church. Afterwards, we went to Snuffy's Malt shop for burgers and of course a malt. Mike even got some time with his buddies Sunday night watching the NBA game.

The extensive malt list.

E went for a strawberry sundae. 

Happy Father's Day.

5. Stone Arch Bridge Festival
This festival is right along St. Anthony Main which is a gorgeous area right on the Mississippi. There are great restaurants, walking trails, and of course the Stone Arch Bridge. It's probably one of my favorite areas in the city.

The festival is geared towards the arts with various booths set up along the river. There's the standard festival food vendors as well and a beer garden with live music. Unfortunately,  the weather did not corporate and it was cold and rainy. We waited until evening to go hoping it would clear up. No such luck, we still walked around and had a beer in the beer tent waiting for the live music.  That was canceled because of the weather so we threw in the towel and grabbed dinner at Pracna, one of the restaurants on St. Anthony Main.

View of downtown Minneapolis and Stone Arch Bridge 

Mom and Cora in the beer tent.