When I was pregnant with E, Mike and I attended birthing classes and I had written out a very specific birth plan. We talked about the birth a lot and how we envisioned it. I wanted a natural birth, I wanted to breastfeed right away, and I wanted only Mike in the room with me and he was to stay by my head the entire time. None of that happened, you can read about that here, and I ended up having an emergency c-section.
After E's birth, I felt cheated out of the birthing experience. I had been anticipating for months that exciting moment when I went into labor and we'd drive to the hospital. I had taken classes and read all about strategies for a natural birth. I didn't get to use any of that. I was cheated out of one of the most miraculous experiences a woman can have.
When I got pregnant with Cora, I thought about trying to do a natural birth this time around. I did some research on natural births to refresh my brain. The idea of going through hours of labor and all the other stuff that goes along with it didn't seem worth it just to get that experience. Recovering from my c-section with E was a walk in the park compared to what I was reading. I talked to my Dr. to get his thoughts and considering my complications with E, he strongly recomeneded sceduling a c-section. We were on the same page but for a moment, I was still sadden by the fact I most likely wouldn't get that surprise moment of going into labor. But then my planner personality kicked in and the thought of having everything planned out seemed really appealing. Childcare for E could be arranged, our out of town parents could easily plan their arrival for Baby 2, and setting up maternity leave would be a breeze. Yes, I was liking this planned c-section plan more and more.
After how smooth and calm Cora's birth was, I no longer feel cheated out of the birthing experience. I feel lucky. Lucky that it went so well and once again I had a fairly easy recovery. Mike and I genuinely enjoyed our time in the hospital. Sure there were a few moments, but overall it was great bonding time with Cora. I may not have had my kids the "normal" way and some people may even say having a scheduled c-section is the easy way to have a baby. But just like everything in the complicated world of parenting, we are all just doing the best we can and make choices that are best for our family regardless of any stigma that might come along with those choices. If there is a Baby 3 for the Gesellchen family, I will happily schedule my c-section without any feelings of being cheated out of a "normal" birth.